Saturday, October 9, 2010

Crazy Lunatic Colorful...Unfocussed...Dots!

Am I being totally random?
Have I lost it in the head?
Am I slowly but steadily going crazy?
Is it just a state of being high without even having a sip of alcohol...
Whatever it is...

These random, out of focus clicks add something to my life...
I can look at this at many levels,
through different points of view...

Should we be like this too...
at times...???
Colorful yet Unfocussed
Present with Mind Body and Soul and yet Inattentive
Life holds much more....No?
maybe lets just leave it at them being Dots!

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Mini Visarjan- Maushi Ishtyle

Ganpati Bappa Mauriya Purcha varshi laukariya!!!!

Above all the music, the dhol and everything these 6 words are the only ones playing in my mind…
A plethora of unknown faces among a few known ones gather around their beloved Ganpati to give him a proper farewell and wish with all their heart that he comes back quicker than before with more good fortune and luck and money amongst all other things…
I had always heard about Ganpati Visarjan but never really understood the power, the feeling of pride, the energy of it all that passed through every Maharashtrian who did the visarjan.
But today….
Today was the day when I would. Our beloved tapri ki Maushi had lovingly invited every Symbiosis student she could meet to come for the Visarjan…it was a moment of pride for her and she wanted to share it among us! Under normal circumstances the shy person that I am, I would have just said no, but then this experience wasn’t going to be happening day to day, and it was one I did not want to miss…I wanted to experience the madness, the energy, the liveliness of the dance and I am glad I did. I let go of any inhibitions or embarrassment issues and danced for me, me and only MYself!
The unmistakable sound of the dhol pulled me towards the dancing crowd- huge and intimidating yet containing people with the energy seen in teenagers (of old!the ones now are more lethargic than elephants!)- they were going to dance the night away and let the world know about it!!!
There was one thing. Company mattered and in this case I had the company of quite a few seniors while none from my own batch turned up- It did feel awkward at first maybe but then a dance broke through shackles of all kinds and if nothing else it sure helped me break mine- I wasn’t the shy and reticent kinds anymore. Oh no! not today...
Today I wanted to let go of myself to beats of the dhol playing. The feeling of the dhol playing right into my brain, the elation, the sudden feeling of pure unadulterated joy. I was possessed…
…I was happy.
And at the end of the day that’s what matters isn’t it?

Mine Own Master

It was not a choice I had
There was nothing I could do
I was told to leave
I had to…
End of story.

I felt shattered
Or maybe it was just my heart breaking inside!!!
I could feel the tears well up inside me,
Clouding my vision…
My nose leaked and my face contorted
In anger
Or was it pain, I did not know
All I knew was that I was told to go
But emotions always give you a different story to tell.

This had been their worst decision and all I could do was sit here and whine
About the chances that I saw go up in smoke in spite of all my trying.
I wanted to put all the blame on them
Curse them dead
Maybe…I shouldn’t…
But then I had to vent out my frustrations and it took two to play the blame game!!

It was time to walk away
The quicker I did the easier it would be,
I crunched up my feelings within me
And my long walk back began…

Fear overpowered my sorrow,
It was game over
I was out
And after so much it was time to start from scratch
To begin for a second time!!

Maybe this was just as well, because from failure came experience
And accompanied with it I would be my own master again!!!